It’s been such a long time since my last post! It’s a been a very busy and blessed year. My youngest daughter turned one this January! I am going through a mixed bag of emotions – ranging from gratitude that we all made it in one piece and that Katelynn is so healthy and a voracious eater despite the nightmare of my pregnancy and relief (that she is sleeping through the night, no longer refluxy/gassy) to sadness (that she is getting bigger every day and now a toddler almost ready to walk on her own).
Then there’s the uh-oh feeling I get when I realize she’s starting to show her true personality now (complete with tantrums and angry arm flailing when we tell her no). When I see couples holding their newborn baby, I start to feel nostalgic – remembering the times I held her all day to keep her asleep.
Then I remember how hard it was and I feel relieved that we survived the chaos of Katelynn’s first year and my first year juggling two children! There were countless sleepless nights when Katelynn needed to be burped 10+ times due to excessive gas and reflux. Midnight was her average bedtime those first few months!
The hardest moments were trying to figure out how to manage my time between my two girls – nursing Kate took so much of my time/energy and Annelise would be so sad and jealous of the amount of time I spent holding and nursing the baby. I experienced a ton of mommy guilt but my heart feels more settled now. I realized that I cannot be the perfect mommy to even one child so how could I possibly try to be the perfect mom to two!?
We have finally gotten into a rhythm and a routine. I can bathe both girls at the same time (woohoo!). Katelynn can eat real food now so I don’t have to fix two different meals for the girls. Katelynn and Annelise have started to play together and can entertain each other for short periods of time. Life is still very crazy/frantic but a bit more manageable.
It’s good to sit in quietude and reflect on how abundant my life is. I’m thankful for the sweet and funny moments like when Annelise is belting out a song and Katelynn is dancing to her sister’s random tune. My favorite part of the day is when all of us are laughing together because of something random and silly. That and when the kids are sleeping so I can finally catch a break!
Happy birthday to our sweet baby girl who has brought much laughter, giggles, dancing, and chaos to our family!